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Germanys “Big Four”, SPIN and ISO 9001

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Fri, 11 May 2012 10:05:50 +0200

When Online Personal Watch published a Press Release about the new code of conduct established by eDarling, FriendScout24, Neu.de and Parship about cancellations policy and recurring payments , we learned from Mr. Fernando Ardenghi, that he thinks it may be a joke. As Mr. Ardenghi said, they could have used “ISO 9001” instead, and “would had no need to invent SPIN.”

That is completely nonsense. “ISO 9011” is related to quality management systems – which may work for online dating companies or not. However, the four companies have invented the SPIN code of conduct exclusively for the online dating industry – and it covers a lot more than just a “quality management”.

Liebepur wrote about SPIN first.

Dating: Four Major German Players Agreed to a Code of Conduct

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:20:34 +0200

The Founders of the SPIN Code of conduct: David Khalil (eDarling), Peter F. Schmid (Parship), Martina Bruder (Friendscout24) and Joachim Rabe ( neu.de/Meetic)

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Four of the most important players in German online dating agreed to a code of conduct. The companies are (in alphabetical order):

eDarling (German company, with some help from eHarmony)
Friendscout24 (owner: German Telekom)
Neu.de (Owner: Meetic, France)
Parship (Owner: Holtzbrinck Publishing Group)

The code became necessary, because the dating industry in Germany is somewhat under fire. The reason is mainly that some of the players in the German online dating business have strange subscription models and cancellation regulations.

The code of conduct is called “SPIN”, an acronym for “Serioese Partnersuche im Internet” (can be translated as “Reputable Dating in the Internet” ).

Only one of the most important German dating-sites, ElitePartner, did not join the alliance.

The SPIN alliance is supported by the German “Bundesverband Digitale Wirtschaft (BVDW) e.V.“

In German: SPIN - Code of Conduct About BVDW , what Liebepur wrote about the alliance. (German).

Photo © 2012 by BVDW (Press release)

Ten important points about Matchmaking

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 09:40:47 +0100

Scientist claimed over years, that they found the “formula of love” – but now, it is obvious that they don’t know anything about love as far as matchmaking is concerned.

Why can this be important to you? The German Liebepur Magazine specializes in Online-Dating, and this article is an extract of ten important points about today’s matchmaking in online dating. As English is not my first language, please forgive me some mistakes.

1. There are other criteria such a social background, humor, and conflict management in a successful marriage.
2. Nearly all psychological factors are outdated for couples. Some scientists even say that “psychological tests” are useless for a happy marriage.
3. There are no “alternative processes” in successful online matchmaking. Counting the clicks may be useful in online bookstores, but not in matchmaking.
4. Some scientists claim that they found new relevant conditions for a better relationship, which should be used in psychological tests. However, so far no one knows what these “relevant” factors are.
5. It is shameless to claim that Matchmaking is bases on C.G. Jung or Sigmund Freud because they have never been engaged in Matchmaking.
6. The “Big Five” or Myers-Briggs are not at all relevant for matchmaking, and to claim that they are, is nonsense.
7. The so called “more detailed” test and algorithms some scientist claim to have found are nonsense, because it is proven, that you get to few matches with those algorithms – even mathematically.
8. The matching process is kept as a secret – but why? Maybe the secret is that it is based on onions, not on science.
9. But in fact, all selection criteria, whatever they are, may lead to fewer choices – so it may be far better to have 40 matches out of 10,000 members.
10. It is quite important that potential mates are “introduced” in online matchmaking – maybe this is the most important point.

Do you want to discuss this article? Please contact me at the Barcelona Online Dating Summit.

Barcelona Meeting

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:34:07 +0100

I am happy to announce that I will join the Barcelona Online Dating Summit held in the Miramar Hotel in March. Although the main show dates are 3rd and 4th March, I will be in Barcelona on 5th as well.

As I am the editor of Germanys probably oldest, busiest and (most probably) best Online Dating Magazine called “Liebepur” (pure Love) I would like to meet you, talk to you and probably make friends with you. Furthermore, I’m available for the Spanish, Catalonian and English-Speaking press as well.

So if you are interested to talk to me, just call me or send me an email. My first Language is German, but I speak English as well.

Contact me via: .

The Kevin Dating Error (and Mandy‘s as well)

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:34:41 +0100

The German Press wrote a lot about a study by the Berlin Humboldt University – and now, the Daily Mail wrote about the same case. They said that the “bad” names are somewhat English sounding.

So do Germans hate English-Sounding Names? In addition, will Kevin not be able to find his Marie or Brunhilde? Is it true that Mandy will never have Sex with Alexander or Siegfried?

Well, researchers said that those people are less likely to pursue a relationship using dating websites. So is it true? And if so, how can it be altered?

No, it is not true, because most dating websites do not use postcode, real name and age as the only identification. In contrary, they use a nickname, a photo, a postcode and age. Therefore, you will not be able to find a Kevin or to avoid a Mandy but you may see a beutiful person. Therefore, the following sentence makes no sense at all: (Daily Mail)

Single people would seem to prefer to remain alone than meet up with someone called Kevin or Chantal.

First, they will not “prefer to remain alone”. The study only says, that knowing the name “Kevin” or Mandy” will restrain from answering an E-Mail from such individuals.

Second, it might be that foreign-sounding names are still a no-go for some of the picky German Singles. Although the winners are mostly not of Germanic origin, they seem to be positively regarded: Jakob (Jacob), Peter, Marie and Hannah are biblical names, Alexander is Greek, Max and Marcus are Roman, Charlotte is unsure, and only Emma is typical German. As I read in the German press, the scientists suggested that well educated people might prefer traditional names, while other people may be influenced by TV-stars.

It is amazing, that the no-go names are not much different in their origin. Justin is Roman, while Marvin (Marwin) is Germanic, Kevin is Irish, Dennis and Mandy (Armanda) are Greek, Chantal is French, Jacqueline is transferred from Hebrew to German and then to French, and Celina is “Celia”, which is Greek, transferred to nearly all Languages, in German a Celina would be called “Silke”.

So how can you avoid to be turned down just by being a “Kevin” or a “Mandy”? It’s quite easy. Use your middle name as first name, or any other name your parents gave you. The Famous German writer and musician Hofmann (you may know the “Tales of Hoffmann”) called himself “Amadeus”, but his name is always written “E.T.A”. So if you are a Kelvin, change your given name to “Kes” or “Elvin” or call yourself “Vine” or “Vince”. A “Mandy” might transfer her name to “Arma”, “Armanda” or “Manda”.

You might as well keep your name, but then take care of your nickname. The Nickname is more important for the first impression than your first name. I don’t know on which Website those scientists may have done their research, but on most Websites you do not need to post your real first name – and it is not cheating just to say: I’m K. Pusteblum instead of saying “I’m Kevin Pusteblum”.

Worst names (men), accoding to my source:
Kevin, Justin and Marvin.
Worst names (women)
Mandy, Celina, Chantal.

This Week in Dating – Some Remarks on Free Dating Sites

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 10:16:18 +0200

Free Dating Sites or Free Online Dating Sites – if you google such keywords, you may be surprised not to find any of Germanys well known free sites such as Finya.de or 'Bildkontakte'. After switching to English keywords, most of the sites we found where little known in Germany, and there are some doubts about those sites as well. Free personal ads? Free dating services? Free online dating? Please be careful – the so-called dating-site may be just a trap or an advertising site for paid services.

The only reason we mention the two sites here is, that they are real German sites and that you can use most (or even all) features free. However, we recommend paid sites, such as PARSHIP, ElitePartner or eDarling because they offer matchmaking instead of just having a database.

If you wish to find a mate, a live in partner or a husband/wife, those agencies are recommended by several German services, such as our famous Singleboersen-Vergleich. If you are smart, you will need about three to six months to find your soul mate.

Unfortunately, some German paid sites are not open for some Europeans countries, such as Hungary, and on others, the English language is not supported. That is the main reason why so many hardly known freed dating sites rank high in Google.

As many well-educated Germans speak English, you will find a matching partner even if the providers do not support English, but it may be a little complicated to go through the questionnaires. In many cases, it is better to ask a German friend for help.

There are alternatives: neu.de has no questionnaire, and although it lacks matchmaking abilities, it is well recommended. In case you are looking for a fling or for an affair, C-Date might be the right choice for you.

Other topics this week: our author wrote about women over 40 and their chances to find a partner, useless dating rules and about female students who date for meals.

The full article in German does not include the sprecial hints for English speaking readers.

Single Map Europe: Bad for Men, Good for Young Women

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 11:51:53 +0200

Excite, the internet portal owned by IAC Search & Media, has just created a “Single Map” showing most big cities in Europe and the chance to find a mate there. Just in short: Looking for a young girl (18 to 24) is easiest in Hamburg, as far as Germany is concerned. Other cities with a surplus of women within the young female population are Edinburgh, Prague and Warsaw and - surprisingly enough - Barcelona, Valencia, Granada und Seville in Spain.

Die Single-O-Matic Karte für Reisende in Europa - Reisen Excite

As we already know from other sources, hunting for matching single women is not easy for young men between 25 and 34, because we have a surplus of men in nearly all European cities.

However, if you are a man and older than 48, the situation turns dramatically: The chances for men are far better at this age and above, especially in the UK, Sweden, and northern Italy.

All those facts are already well renowned. Our Magazine “Liebepur” gathers and monitors the facts for years. However, many people prefer to live in dream words instead of facing the truth. So believe all those spin-doctors or believe “Liebepur” – it is your choice.

There is a more detailed article about the European Singles Map in German.

Dating and Facebook: the Privacy Risk

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 16:41:49 +0200

On Facebook, most people use their real names. It is said that almost 90 percent of all Facebook members can be identified by their real name. The more information they provide on Facebook and other social networks, forums and other websites, the more they risk their privacy.

No matter? You do not need any privacy. All your friends know already that you are a gay, married Christian fundamentalist? If so, it is fine – otherwise, take care. Just in case you have a lot of photos on your social network profile, and a photo on a gay dating side as well, you can be identified. Of course, it’s quite the same when you are married and you look for a mistress or a dominatrix. How can this be done? The secret is “facial recognition” – software to find similar faces by comparing photos. It’s not just a theory. A scientist, Alessandro Acquisti, found out that he was able to identify 4.900 of 5.800 Dating profiles just by comparing them with FACEBOOK and LinkedIn Photos.

So please take care. Maybe it is not so defamatory for women in her late forties to find am man in the World Wide Web, but what if she is married, looking for a “much younger guy” or for a “guy, girl or couple”? To avoid any trouble, it is best …

- Not to have any social network profile.
- Not to use any photos, use drawings instead.
- To use retouched photos only instead of original photos.

What do you think? In addition, where would you place your photo-shopped portrait? On the dating site or on your social network site?

Recently, I wrote a similar blog post in German Language
See also: Online Personal Watch (English) and MacWold (english)

Dating is not fun for most Germans a survey claims

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 20:28:31 +0200

Dating doesn’t seem to be very joyous for Germans, according to an online survey by German matchmaker ElitePartner. Only one third of the Germans said that Dating is fun for them. The results where even worse among the 40-somethings. Only one in five Singles over 45 said that Dating is enjoyment.

We don’t know much about the alternatives in the survey, but I think it is rather impossible to find a mate if you don’t enjoy dating people.

The results in German language can be found here.

Have a better Translation? English is not my first language – so if you have a suggestion to improve this article – just send me an email.

Toyboys for Mature German Ladies

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 10:02:03 +0200

Toyboys or „sugar boys“ (Zuckerjungs) for mature German ladies is new to Germany, although the idea behind it is rather old: in the 20th century, some male students (undergraduates) used to have a “Bratkartoffelverhältnis”, a type of relationship based on an exchange of sex (given by the student) and food (given by the mature lady).

The new idea, however, claims to have different targets: experienced and sexy ladies on one side looking for sweet (and probably inexperienced) young men - and “young and sweet boys” on the other side looking for an experienced lady.

Although there are a lot of „male virgins“ and other rather inexperienced young men looking for all kinds of sexy women, we doubt that mature ladies long for this kind of men. So wait and see who will be the target of the lusty ladies.

The „Dating Pledge“ is „das Liebespfand“ on a German dating site

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 20:47:04 +0200

Most young US-citizens seem to know what a dating pledge is: a pledge to treat someone in a nice and fair way while dating. But on a new German dating-site, a dating pledge is a promise to have a date with someone. To ensure the other part that you, as the inviting part, are really honest, you have to pay 50 Euro to an account of trust. The invitee will receive the money in case the date does really take place. Satisfied with the date or not, she or he can pay it back to the inviting part – or keep it.

Does it make sense? We doubt it. By the way: Once you are invited, and accept the invitation, you pay 15 Euros to the company that runs the dating site.

Read more in German language in a press release.

50 Euros = app. 64 USD (US $) or 41 GBP (British Pound Sterling) according to XE.com taken from September 12, 2010.

Markus Frind (PlentyOfFish) is going to become a Matchmaker

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 19:54:23 +0200

As Markus Friend told his readers in his Blog, he found out that

‘no one (is) … actually catering to people that wanted to find relationships’.

No one? Let’s have a closer look at the article: Markus says that eHarmony “sort of does it”, but what he expects is, that people can search in a database, which they cannot on eHarmony.

So what is a man like Markus doing after thinking about it? He builds up a matchmaking website for long-term relationships, including matchmaking. Now, if the new website is for long-term relationships, was PlentyOfFish for short-term?

The most important question for most of his friends (and enemies) might be: is it for free? I do not believe that you can run a matchmaking site for free, not even in Canada or the USA. At the moment, the website called ‘evow’ looks a little bit amateurish, but he has sure enough money to build up e better design.

The New Dating site how it should look like:

Todays look:

In German: Online-Partnervermittlung vom PlentyOfFish-Chef gegründet.

This week in dating (19): who are YOU?

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Sun, 10 May 2009 16:16:44 +0200

First, I' really sorry not to write every week, but I have been in Milan recently, and I had a lot of workload as well. And - although I'm a professional author, this is still a private website.

Talking about websites, I recognized that only dating is quite common nowadays and that the German blogs about dating publish far less than they did before, and so do the US-blogs except those of the experts.. So even we ask ourselves: do we target the right people? Those honestly seeking a mate? Those who really wish to improving their dating results? Well, we still try to find out.

On the other hand, the knowledge about online dating is still poor – one of the reasons why people become disappointed about “dating by mouse click”, as they call it. But online dating is not just only dating – it means a change in dating culture, which very few people have recognized so far.

The cultural shock is not over. Although online dating is no longer regarded as the business of some crazy nerds, it is still a new cultural achievement and not a computer game. Many people forget about that, especially younger people. In opposite to the USA, where you have dating rules and such things, blind dates are still a cultural shock for Europeans. “Why do you want to see a person you have never met before?”, is still a very common question, and is not easy to find a good answer. My best answer: because if I do it, I have a choice – I want have it by just meeting women in bars – and to say ti quite frankly: I would never marry a girl who is looking for her mate in bars.

There is still some confusion about “how to date” - I just wrote a lot of articles this week about the chances people have. Of course, women between 25 and 35 have the best choice among men, but what about women over 40?

Talking about dating sites, we have to mention the word ”free” one more time. I know that some of these sides are really free, but does that really matter? Isn't it success you asked for? What is better? Finding a really matching mate or just look around for someone?

By the way – love is still love and not only online dating. So we still write about love. Meanwhile one of the problems of this “wonderful” online world is, that nearly all search engines have a “safe search” function and that this function filters more words and pictures than you can ever imagine. I know that it is not done by humans, but by stupid programs with “artificial intelligence” - but the rules come from humans, and they seem to be as stupid as their programs. So – just switch it off. There is no need for an adult to have “safe search” switched on. We just heard, that the word “pantihose” (or pantyhose, if you are American) is filtered by one of some glorious companies.So – switch it off – it makes no sense. Writers need to write what they think, and not, what might be “sexually correct” by the natural and artificial stupidity of moralists.

Do you like this new feature? You can bookmark this article.

This week in Dating (13) – Cellphones and Swiss Dating

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:26:14 +0200

Well “experts” over there in the USA: I remember well the last revolution in dating you predicted: it was social networking. Now everybody says that “cellphone dating” is the new hype. Let's face it: You do not sit in a coffee shop all day and wait until somebody calls you up and asks you for a date, do you? What kind of women would sit there, having a cellphone ready and wait for some to call her up? I saw hotel whores in some countries, sitting in the lobby and just waiting for a customer to call them up, and those are the only persons over 25 I can ever think of being ready for a quick date over the cellphone with a person "near your present destination".

But – back to Europe. I just wonder how people in Finland (where they have a lot of cellphone) will ever have a quick date over a cellphone – because they have only 15 inhabitants per square kilometer. More real news from Europe? Yes, from Switzerland. One country, four languages – and now they are trying to date across their own language borders and even try to mingle with their French, Italian and German neighbors.

One client of a causal dating service was not very happy to pay for a service with “dead”E-Mail-Addresses, as the Swiss Newspaper “20 Minuten” reported. May be cell phone dating would have been a solution for his problems?

As you can see, my weekly report is very short this week – everything else is in my German weekly report.

Love – the last secret you are allowed to keep

nospam@example.com (Gebhard Roese) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:49:58 +0100

Wherever you may look in those days – you fil find that you know nothing about your relationship - scientists do. You know nothing about your feelings – neighbors do (according to scientists) and you know nothing about a good sex life – scientist know all about it.

So, most portably, we cannot fight all those scientists – but it seems, there is one feeling, which scientists did not take over so far – it's love. Simply love. The reason may be that scientists don't know hot to love – or that they divide their personality into an observation machine at university and a kind wife, husband, mother or father in their private life.

What do you think?